LOL

I don't understand what is happening to me right now
i just want it..
i want the love
i just love to be loved by others
will then i love myself
what an idiot
hahahhhaha
I dont feel like writing
this blog anymore
well...
lets follow the current flow now
aitezzz
***My path can only be right when i'm walking straight with full of confident in me***

aLL the WAY

what is life actually?
would it be good if we go to the bright side of it?
or will it still remain blank?
i don't really understand my life currently.
i used to be cheerful
however lately...
i don't even have anyone to talk to.
no one.
not even my own shadow...
what is happening to me actually?
well drop the topic now...

i'm quite happy today.
i've completed the CB project..
at last!!!
hahahaha
well i also received an email from my lovely husband
ouh how much i miss him
hahahaha
also not forgetting..
my SYG message me too but
he don't seemed to be happy about it..
well i miss him more LOL
Daniel??
he have yet to call me since saturday
well perhaps he have found someone new
hahaha what can i do?
tsk tsk tsk
put them all aside now

next myself..
and my family...
i've not spoken to my dad lately
it have been three days since the fasting month started
i don't really know why but i hate the fact that
my mum is willing to get back together with him..

earlier today my classmate did some oral presentation
and one of them actually touched my heart.
Suria, my classmate talk about a healthy lifestyle
she did asked some questions
one of the open ended question was...
"why does everyone needs to have a balance diet?"
it makes me think..
must the answer be "confident" instead of...
"i love the way i am now"....
hmm let the environment decides all of it..

***My path can only be right when i'm walking straight with full of confident in me***

Baby Girl Is On Her Way

Yesterday was the first time in my life to agree to be someones sugar baby.

i do not know if whatever i do is something right

obviously it is a sin but i guess i am left with no choice

i am so like really need the cash

shoot what happened to the old me?

i am so like a BITCH now

My parents are getting divorce soon

i followed my mum ad am staying with her

in AMK back to the old days...

This time round, i want it different for both of us

papa seriously didn't allowed mama to take

both Arif and Mubin

hmmph...

i have like totally made up my mind to just stay

the way i am now

and enjoy life with full of sin

wakkakakakakkaka

i wanna be the cheerful girl once again

the lovely sweet baby girl is on her way

this time round i will be the BITCH

I want to conquer the world

I want it to be the melody of my life

In conjunction to that, i didn't even know that life like

mine is also happening to someone else

someone who i knew

But not someone close to me

such a pity that his case is much worse than mine.

he not only lose his family but also his love ones

i felt sad for him but there is nothing that i could do

referring to that, he is also the same age as me just that

I'm already 19 and he is on the 23 Aug then he turn 19

gosh he is right..

no matter how old we could grow to,

we still will be end up crying like a small baby

for me..

baby girl.. hahahha

well i believe it is hard for a Guy to cry ya see

and if a guy had cried means he is unable to

cope with the surrounding further..

forget about me..

i can't even cry anymore

wheee

yeah that's what i did now..

i make myself felt stupid then will i be satisfied with it

lol..

let me be the baby girl once again

being pampered by guys

being loved by the loved once

being known by others

I'm gonna love it.

muackzz

guysss...

I'm waiting...

***My path can only be right when I'm walking straight with full of confident in me***

it strike the path

Yesterday i thought of letting Teddy go was a good idea

infact i do contact with him again

well i want to know him more.

since i was getting tired of it,

i called Teddy

i was shocked that he is willing to answer my call

and guess what?

today he called me DEAR =)

well that was it

yesterday mama seemed to be extremely upset with me?

i guess she knew that i am lying to her all this while

but i was lying in order to for me not to hurt her.

i didn't do it intentionally

neither do i really mean it =(

i felt sad when mama scolded me last night.

so bout papa i think he goes crazy by now

really crazy

perhaps i didn't give him any money after i

received the scholarship.

i guess so

i guess he must be extremely mad at me too

for not giving him a sense of respect at home

how could i?

he is acting like a mad man..

heck care with him.

i just can't focus the more i think about it

it hurt to be in my position now.

why can't i be like the other kid?

like those who don't seemed to be afraid of

laws and stand up for their rights?

haiz

gosh tomorow i'm supposed to meet ibrahim but shoot

papa didn't allows me

well what happened next was papa was like shouting like a mad man

like a crazy old man stating that all i know in life is GUYS

but never did i focus on my studies

why did he said that?

if i did not focus..

why in the world do i get a scholarship?

why do i still in school?

i might as well go out and work right?

i hate it.

so....

today my class "celebrate" national day..

yeah wadeva..

Mr sim gave us fruits.. i mean APPLE

and choclate for saying what i like about SINGAPORE

that part.. everyone gets it

for lolipops..

my favorite part...

we have to answer a few SINGAPORE quiz

and well as usual the "kanchiong" queen is here..

i gave the class the answer..

hahaha why not?

i have the answer for every SINGAPORE quiz

haha btw

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE

wheeeee...

why am i cheering?

i am going to get a full lecture soon

yeah very the soon..

that's all for today..

bye

***My path can only be right when i'm walking straight with full of confident in me***

i hate myself for loving you teddy

i'm sorry

i don't really know what had happened

why do i have to fall for teddy?

teddy still loves his EX

now i'm so like crying like hell

how can i ever like a person like him?

should i go to bed with him?

should i check into the hotel with him?

what's the point?

he is a sweet guy

but he have hurt me

i'm so like totally hurt right now

seriously i don't feel like meeting him today after learning about the whole thing

the whole stupid things

how can i ever fall for him in the first place?

yesterday was okay

but today im so like a total whore

i am a whore

i hate myself for this

why must i cry for guys?

i hate u!!!!!!!!

God give me strengths

give me hope

give me the air that i should be breathing

i really need the sense of love

i really need a guy by my side

i need a company of love

after learning the fact..

every seconds i received his message

i feel like crying

why?

please i need my strength back please

***My path can only be right when i'm walking straight with full of confident in me***